Compliance Capers
Sunday, April 18, 2010 at 1:25PM What are Compliance Capers?
Sometimes the way we cope with situations we don't like or want is to manipulate/coerce/force ourselves to do what others want - using compliance capers.
Compliance Capers:
tactics used to manipulate/coerce/force ourselves
to do what we don't want to do.
For example;
Here's some examples of compliance capers in action;
Denying
Includes;
Outright Denial
"There is no problem."
"It's not a problem."
(When there is, and it is!)
Distorting
Includes;
Distort, minimize, catastrophize, intellectualize, rationalize
"It's nothing."
"There's nothing worse!"
"It's really just a matter of perspective."
"It's human nature."
Displacing
Includes;
Displace, blame, project, repress, regress
"I'm mad at them - so you'd better watch out!"
"I can't even think about it."
"This is all my fault."
(when it isn't)
"This is their fault."
(when it isn't)
Disowning
Includes;
Disown our actions and feelings, excuse ourselves
"That's not me."
"It was the alcohol talking."
"I couldn't stop myself."
"That's just my way of coping."
"We all have issues."
Deferring
Includes;
Identify, compensate, postpone
"I need a drink."
"I'll have a nap first."
"Patience is a virtue."
"I'll make up for it later."
Over-adapting
Includes;
Agreeing to do things we don't have the time/energy/desire/resources/skills to do. Taking over others responsibilities, accepting others responsibilities, 'picking up the slack'. Ingratiating ourselves to others. Proving ourselves to others.
"No trouble!"
(when it is)
"Piece of cake!"
(when it isn't)
Compliance Capers amount to avoiding the reality of what's going on with us by manipulating/ coercing/forcing ourselves to give up what we want; in favor of others and what they want.
Which means others get what they want - at our expense.
eek?!
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