Cope Strategies

Cope Strategies

 

When we're faced with a situation we don't like or want we need a way to deal with it.

'Cope Strategies' help us 'cope' with whatever it is that's happening that we don't like or want. Broadly, they fall into 3 groups;

- power plays
- compliance capers, and
- escapes.

Power Plays

A Cope Strategy

Sometimes the way we cope with a situation we don't like or want is to manipulate/coerce/force others to do what we want using Power Plays.

power play:
tactic used to manipulate/coerce/force people to do what we want them to do, regardless of what they want (or would want if they knew the reality of the situation).

For example;

Discounting, Judging, Dictating, Evaluating, Manipulating, Diverting, Confusing, Avoiding, Excluding, Deceiving, Guilting, and Intimidating.

Compliance Capers

A Cope Strategy

Sometimes the way we cope with situations we don't like or want is to manipulate/coerce/force ourselves to do what others want using compliance capers;

compliance caper:
tactic used to manipulate/coerce/force ourselves to do what we don't want to do.

For example;

Denying, Distorting, Displacing, Disowning, Deferring, and Over-adapting.

Cope Strategies and the Power Game

If we're using Cope Strategies to avoid situations we don't like or want - we have a choice to make. Do we use Power Plays or Compliance Capers?

 

Power Plays:

People are most likely to use power plays when they think they have enough power to get away with using them to get people to do what they want, and, they're willing to get what they want at the expense of others.

Compliance Capers:

People are most likely to use compliance capers when they think they don't have enough power to get others to do what they want; and/or they're not willing to get what they want at the expense of others.

Cope Strategies:

Whether people are using power plays or compliance capers, they're doing 'something' they seem to be 'taking action'. The reality is they're taking action to avoid the issue that's creating the situation they don't like or want.
 

"Yes I'm taking action! Can't you see I'm sticking my head in the sand?!"

eek!

The problem is they aren't doing anything to "fix" it or "change" it!

Cope strategies are like a bandaid on a crack through a load-bearing wall. A superficial "fix" for a much bigger issue.

Displacing Rights & Responsibilities

Cope strategies avoid the reality of what's going on by what's called "displacing" rights & responsibilities;

We displace rights and responsibilities withdominating behaviours, by;

- forcing our responsibilities on others, and
- taking others responsibilities from others.

And with submissive behaviours, by;

- abdicating our responsibilities to others, and
- accepting others responsibilities from others.

Each of these displacements creates problems.

Generally, we don't like people;

- forcing their responsibilities on us, and
- taking our responsibilities from us

...except if it works to our advantage!

And we don't like;

- abdicating our responsibilities to others, and
- accepting others responsibilities from others

...except if it works to our advantage!

The problem with displacements is they displace rights and responsibilities! Anyadvantage received in the short-term is likely to backfire in the long-term.

The Passive Nature of Cope Strategies

In psychological terms, behaviour is classified as 'passive' if it ignores information relevant to solving problems, and directs time and energy to avoiding them.

On that basis all coping and displacing behaviours are passive.

When we avoid our problems rather than solving them, they continue, and very often get worse.

So we continue to;

- do things we don't want to do,
- accept what we don't want to accept, and
- suffer consequences we don't like or want...

...which affect our quality of life; destructive to our health, happiness and well-being, our productivity and our relationships.

Why would we do that to ourselves?

WGO Video - Cope Strategies: 

eek?!

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